The Father-Child Bond

By: Ps Derek Sim

A child was asked if he has a prayer request during a prayer session. This was the request that he uttered, “Can you pray for my daddy that he will not be so busy?” I believe the underlying message behind this request is basically that daddy will spend more time with his child than in his work or his own thing.

I'm sure that we as fathers want to spend more time and bond with their kids but many times we do not know what to do, we leave it to our wives to do it, or rely on other programs and institutions. This results in an imbalanced parenting. And when we do not get the desired level of intimacy with our child, we blame everybody but ourselves.

Why is it very important for a father to bond with the child? When we speak of bonding, the idea that comes to mind is a glue or a sealant being applied to seal two things together. Over time this bond will be so tight that it cannot be separated. It’s easy to put two inanimated things together but very tricky when it comes to human relationships. With social media bombarding our child's mind everyday, it is a challenge to keep them glued with the family bond we desire. But like Winston Churchill said against all odds in the face of the German invasion, “Never Give Up!

The emotional, physical, spiritual and mental bond that we long to have with our children can be achieved when we intentionally and purposefully make the time to be with them. After all they are our flesh and blood, our future and our legacy. What happens between the father and the child in the bonding time? There are a number of elements that gives them the support they need. The following is taken from a book by Gregory W. Slayton, “Be a Better Dad”:

1. Emotional support – Being sure that each member of your family knows you are with them – always. This will help them develop a deep-seated sense of self confidence, which is so vital to us as human beings.

2. Physical support – Providing the proper food and exercise. Having the right amount of sleep.

3. Mental or Intellectual support – Providing good literature and the right contents of social media.

4. Spiritual support – You are the spiritual leader of your home. You cannot delegate that responsibility to mothers, the church, the school, or anyone else. When your children grows up, they must decide for themselves the right path to take spiritually, morally and ethically. But as their fathers, we have the God-given responsibility to teach them when they are young what is good and right and true and just, to the best of our abilities. If we don’t do this, no one else will.

This September holidays, are you struggling planning what to do with your child? Here are some activities to jolt your creativity!

  • Have a ball of a time with ball games: try football, basketball, baseball or just play a game of throw and catch.
  • Fun in the sun outdoors: go cycling, swimming, scootering, hiking, the beach, and so on.
  • Stimulate the mind without the screen: play board games indoors at home or board game cafes
  • Together we build: build and create things together with activities such as cooking, painting, drawing and crafting.
  • Embark on a learning journey: learn about new things together through visits to museums and galleries, nature trails, parks like the zoo.

We hope this helps to kickstart your holiday planning with your child. Make it memorable, engaging and most of all have fun together!

Don't forget our #MyChildInMe creative photo competition!

  • Snap a creative photo with your child based on the theme!

  • Share it on E7K@Elim WhatsApp group together with a short write-up of what you have learnt

  • Post the photos on your social media with the hashtag #mychildinme

  • The three most creative photos win prizes!

  • Deadline: Monday, 13 September 2021