We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone—but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find . . . Joy - Walter Anderson
Even my close friend whom I trusted, he who shared meals with me, has turned against me. (Ps 49:9)
A loving relationship can only be achieved through trust.
- Bear one another burdens
- spur one another on toward love and good deeds
Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. (Matt 10:16)
I. Trust Wisely
Trust but verify - Ronald Reagan
I have found that by trusting people until they prove themselves unworthy of that trust, a lot more happens. - Jim Burke (Former Chairman and CEO, Johnson & Johnson)
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Eph 4:1-2)
II. Establish Credibility
Extending trust requires confidence —sometimes a leap of faith.
- Acting on what you say
- Doing what's right rather than being right
- Staying true to their beliefs
I also believe that what I accomplished has garnered me more respect than winning. A gesture of honesty goes down well nowadays. - Ivan Fernandez
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jer 17:9)
"Humans are very seldom either totally sincere or totally hypocritical. Their moods change, their motives are mixed, and they are often themselves quite mistaken as to what their motives are." - C.S. Lewis
We need to examine our motives on a regular basis.
- Am I attempting to bless or to impress?
- Am I truly concerned, loving, and desiring the best for my family? Or am I attempting to impose my will on my children in order to fulfil my previous wish list?
- Am I receptive to my spouse'sfriend'sleader'scolleague's advice? Am I oblivious to hisher influence?
- Do I recognize and value my team's accomplishments, or am I too focused on my success / the rewarding of my ideas?
C. Track Record
The impact of results on trust is felt across all spheres of life.
III. Work On Your Behaviours
People don’t listen to you speak; they watch your feet. - Anonymous
Our Behaviours speak of who you are, not from who you may appear to be.
A. Be Transparent
Then David fled from Naioth at Ramah and went to Jonathan and asked, “What have I done? What is my crime? How have I wronged your father, that he is trying to kill me?” 2 “Never!” Jonathan replied. “You are not going to die! Look, my father doesn’t do anything, great or small, without letting me know. Why would he hide this from me? It isn’t so!” 3 But David took an oath and said, “Your father knows very well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said to himself, ‘Jonathan must not know this or he will be grieved.’ Yet as surely as the Lord lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death.” 4 Jonathan said to David, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you.” (1 Sam 20:4)
Cultivating trust begins with your willingness to express your views and feelings openly and authentically.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
B. Set Things Right
11 “This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. 12 You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’” 13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” 15 After Nathan had gone home, the Lord struck the child that Uriah’s wife had borne to David, and he became ill. 16 David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them. 18 On the seventh day the child died. David’s attendants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, “While the child was still living, he wouldn’t listen to us when we spoke to him. How can we now tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate.” (2 Sam 12:11-18)
Accepting responsibility for one's mistakes is critical for trust development.
C. Exhibit Allegiance
3 He came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were far back in the cave. 4 The men said, “This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.’” Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. 5 Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. 6 He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord.” 7 With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way. (1 Sam 24:3-7)
By being loyal, we beget loyalty in others who watch over our backs and defend us when others speak negatively about us.
D. Keep Commitment
King David searched for any remaining Saul descendants and found Mephibosheth, who had both feet crippled. David brought him back to Jerusalem to honor his promise, his commitment to Jonathan. (cf. 2 Sam 9:1-13)
“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.”